Confessions and Repercussions
by USNeshama
Summary: After watching 4x13 with Helen and Auggie's "encounter", where we should go from here.
1. Chapter 1

"I need you. No zip-ties this time. Thursday 1800." That was all the message said. This couldn't be good. She was supposed to have gone dark. She wasn't supposed to contact anyone. But since the text came from an unrecognizable number he assumed she had tossed the phone.

It was Tuesday. He could wait two more days. Two more days in agony. Why now? What could she need? Why did she need him? What had happened?

He loved her, yes, no matter what he told himself he did. But she was in love with Auggie. She was _dating_ Auggie. So she was off limits, but that didn't mean that he wasn't her friend. He trusted her with his life, and he was sure after their most recent encounter that she trusted him with hers as well.

They lied to each other but they were thinly-veiled and the other knew that it was for the sake of God and Country. They were just doing their duty. But they knew deep down that when it came down to the wire that they each came through for each other, no matter what. They often risked God and Country to save the other. Time and time again, they disobeyed orders, but all that mattered was that they survived. _That she survived._

So here he was contemplating what he could offer her. What did she want? What did she need? He knew he was the closest friend she had outside the agency, and of course one of only a handful of people who knew she was actually alive. But why "need", she never admitted to needing anyone. What had happened to change all that?

He knew that when she had gone dark that it would change her. But more importantly to her, it would change the lives of so many others. But had she lost that which made her Annie? That part of her where she saw the good in others? The part he loved best about her. The part that made him a better man.

He hoped Henry hadn't stolen that too. That man had destroyed so much, he hoped to whatever deity was listening that he hadn't taken the essence of the woman he loved (off-limits or not). He hoped Annie was successful in her mission but that she didn't lose herself along the way.

The biggest problem in their line of work was that sometimes in order to beat the person you are chasing you have to become them. He had. He didn't want her to have the same fate. She was so pure, so good. _Or at least she used to be. _She had brought him back from the edge, from the point of no return. He had flirted with the line many times over the years but she pulled him back right before he crossed it. Would she be so fortunate? If she had crossed it he vowed to pull her back. She would never be the same but he could try. Was there someone for Annie the way she was for him? There needed to be. She deserved as much.

Over the next two days, he drowned in his thoughts, in his worry, and his misery. He had helped her to this fate. Could he help her back from it?

He walked to the room in _their_ hotel. He slipped the master key card out of his pocket, the one he had swiped from the maid two floors down. He was 15 minutes early, but as he heard the beep that allowed him entry to the room he also heard the unmistakable cock of a revolver. He slowly opened the door. The room was dark.

"I am not armed" was all he spoke. If the opponent was Annie his voice should be enough to lower the gun. If it was anyone else, well he didn't need to be armed to be deadly.

The light flicked on from across the room as soon as he closed the door behind him. He saw her, just standing in the doorway, the revolver pointed at his chest.

Then as if she was finally recognizing that he was the safe zone. She dropped the revolver to her side and crumpled to the floor along the wall crying.

He walked across the room and silently pulled her into his arms. He eased the gun out of her hand and slid it across the floor.

He rubbed soothing circles on her back and just let her cry into his shirt. He didn't say anything; she would talk when she wanted to.

"He cheated on me Eyal. He cheated on me" Annie sobbed into his shirt. His arms tightened around her in response.


	2. Chapter 2

Eyal just held her, rubbed circles on her back and rocked while Annie cried. It was when he heard her breathing even out that he knew she had fallen asleep.

He sighed. She hadn't elaborated after saying "He cheated on me". He could guess who she was talking about, but he just couldn't garner why. Why would he do something like that? Why would Auggie sleep with someone else? Why would he do that to Annie? After everything she had been put through why would he want to put her through more? And for her to find out in the middle of the operation. Eyal needed answers.

Eyal lifted Annie off the floor carrying her easily over to the bed and laying her on top of the covers. What am I going to do? How can I help her?

Eyal knew that he was her closest friend but he also knew that she was aware of his feelings for her. So why come running to me? He simply had too many unanswered questions. However, looking down at her sleeping form he knew they would have to wait until she awoke.

He debated with himself for a moment. Undress her or leave her be? He looked around and realized that the clothes she had on were very likely the only thing she had with her so…

He sighed again. He knelt down and took off her boots and socks, then her jacket. He hesitated. When have I ever hesitated taking off a woman's clothes? He smirked to himself. But this was Annie, his neshama, the smirk slipped from his face.

Eyal looked down her sleeping form. She was so beautiful. Even with the dark hair, she was still Annie. She was still his neshama.

He shook himself out of his thoughts and unzipped her pants, laying them with her jacket on a nearby chair. Now to leave her shirt on or not? Well she wouldn't want it to be wrinkled right? He very gently removed it as well, laying it to the side as he picked her up and placed her under the covers.

When he went to step away; he'd sleep on the couch, she latched onto his arm. "Please, don't" she whispered, looking at him intently.

"Don't what Annie?" Eyal asked, bending down to her level.

"Don't distance yourself. I can't stand it" she said. "Please. Stay with me."

He chastised himself. He should have known she wasn't asleep. She was a spy just like him. But they also shared something most didn't: trust. She trusted him to keep her safe and to not cross the line.

"Annie…" Eyal knew they were coming close to that line.

"Please Eyal" Annie pleaded.

He looked at her. He knew he couldn't deny her anything. Sighing, yet again, he squeezed her hand on his arm and moved to take off his shoes.

After removing his shoes and jacket, he again paused. I don't think I've ever done more pausing in my life then tonight. I guess I just know I don't want to screw this relationship, friendship, whatever, up.

"Just take it off Eyal" Annie spoke across the room. "I've already seen it. First mission. You almost killed me then you flaunted everything in a towel. Just take it off and come to bed please."

Eyal was slightly shocked at her words. She certainly had become more straight-forward, more confident. He removed his pants and shirt and then crossed the room standing next to the bed. He again looked down at Annie who was now staring up at him.

She rolled down the covers on his side and patted them. "You're sure about this Annie?" Eyal asked.

"Eyal we're both in our underwear. We're friends. We've shared worse. Just get in, I need to sleep and I bet you do too" Annie responded.

"But Annie…you're…you're involved" Eyal said, sitting on the edge of the bed, back to Annie.

"Eyal can we please not do this right now. Tomorrow ok? I'll explain everything tomorrow. Please let's just sleep" Annie said tugging on his arm.

"And you're sure you want me in the bed with you? I was just going to take the couch" Eyal indicated.

"We'll both sleep better if you're right here. Now just go to sleep" Annie said.

Eyal relented, turning and swinging his legs under the covers and laying down staring at the ceiling. Annie scooted over, back to Eyal's side.

Eyal glanced down and turned on his side as well. Annie slide over again, right up against Eyal's side. He pulled her into his chest and he could hear her breathing even out again.

Eyal's thoughts swirled. What did she need from him? Was this what she wanted? Just some comfort or something more? What was the deal with Auggie? After a good hour or so Eyal drifted off to sleep as well, questions badgering his brain, but secure in the idea that he would get answers soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Eyal awoke to light streaming in through the closed, but lightly colored curtains covering the window in the hotel room. He glanced down, arms immediately tightening around the sleeping form of the woman next to him.

She started to stir as he stroked her hair. She flinched and sat up quickly, taking in her surroundings, analyzing the situation. But after a couple of moments of panic he could see she realized where she was and who she was with.

Immediately she relaxed. Scooting back down next to Eyal, facing him this time, grabbing his hand and pulling it into her chest, she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

Eyal just watched her knowing she would speak when she was ready. He could see the worry etched in her face. Clearly she was warring with herself about speaking aloud, or rather what to speak aloud.

"Eyal, I need to apologize" she looked up at him. She did just want comfort.

But he waited just the same.

"I was a disaster last night. It wasn't fair to make you come here to me. Risk everything. I'm sorry" she said, squeezing his hand.

"I told you I'd always come for you. Do not worry Neshama" Eyal smiled at her, just a ghost of a smile.

Annie smiled at him timidly. Then the smile slipped from her face and sighed. "Eyal…" she started only to be cut off.

"It is fine. I know you just wanted a strong shoulder to cry on. You needed a friend, I understand. Now let us get you ready for the next phase of your mission, whatever that is" Eyal said trying to sit up.

I need to distance myself. I need to protect my heart. She has found a way to worm herself inside my walls but as a friend. I need to remember she is just a friend. She is not a lover. She is just a friend.

Annie released his hand only to grab his arm to stop him for getting up. "I'm not done" Annie whispered.

"What more is there to say? He cheated on you. Okay, now we move on" Eyal said, successfully sitting up and getting out of the bed this time, breaking Annie's grasp.

"Eyal…" Annie said as he crossed the room to put his clothes on. She needs to understand.

"Annie, don't you see. I can't do this. We need to focus on the objective. Get this over with so you can go back to Auggie" Eyal said, pulling his pants on and reaching for his shirt.

"That's what this is about? That's where this coldness is coming from?" Annie laughed bitterly.

"Annie I am your friend, nothing more. I don't understand what you want from me other than support" Eyal said, finishing with his shirt and reaching for his socks and shoes.

"What if I want more?" Annie asked forcefully.

Eyal paused in pulling on his left sock. "What?" he asked, not turning to her, trying to quash the hope that was rising in his chest.

"What if I want more than friendship?" Annie asked again. Did she just ask…

Eyal turned to look at her. "What is you're saying Annie? You are involved. I will not be a rebound or an affair" Eyal told her, the truth blaring in his eyes.

"I don't want you to be…I would never consider you…" Annie fumbled over her words.

"Annie tell me what happened" Eyal sighed, giving up on his socks, staying barefoot.

"I mean I know when I went dark I didn't leave him much of a choice, but we were in a relationship and it's not like he thought I was dead. He knew I was alive. I think that is what hurts the most. He knew I was alive. I thought that meant something. I thought being committed to someone meant something. And then he went and slept with Helen. And then he took me to her apartment and I saw what they had been doing. That's how I found out. He didn't even have the guts to tell me himself" Annie stopped "I'm rambling. Sorry".

Eyal just starred at Annie, shocked. It was the most he had heard her speak since he had brought her back to life. And what she had just said had not been easy to hear. Why would Auggie do that? Why would he do it to Annie? He knew what was at stake, he knew what she was giving up in order to complete their objective, so why do that to her? He had thought the man had more respect for her than that. Eyal's view of Auggie had just dropped considerably. It was one thing to suspect. It was a different thing entirely to hear what had actually happened, and to know the parties involved.

"No I'm sorry" Eyal said, crossing to sit next to Annie on the bed. Annie leaned into his side.

"Don't be. What it made me realize was that he was the wrong man for me. I have always felt torn between what I have felt for him and what I feel for you" Annie paused, looking up at Eyal.

Eyal was holding his breath.

"And what I realized after choosing to go dark, and discovering Auggie's transgressions was that the man I have been with and the man I chose is not the man I want" Annie said looking up at Eyal, eyes never wavering.

"What changed? Other than the transgressions, surely a spy can overlook that" Eyal said, still trying to not hope for what she might be offering him.

"I changed. And someone who hasn't gone dark could never understand. You understand" Annie said earnestly.

"Annie…" Eyal started.

"Let me finish please. You have always understood me, and now you will be one of the few who will even be able to comprehend what I have been through. I need that. I don't need someone who sympathizes and smothers me, I need someone who just understands, who is there" Annie finished.

"If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't it never was" Eyal whispers.

"But what Auggie?" he is almost afraid to ask.

"We're done" Annie said definitely.

"And you're sure this is what you want? Because Annie if this is the path you decide you want to take then there is no going back, not for me" Eyal challenged her, making sure she knew what she was deciding.

"I'm sure. I know what I want. You're what I want" Annie said.

Eyal had to take a moment to process that. She was really choosing him. She was giving them a chance. He leaned over her and brought her head up for a kiss.

They'd figure everything else out later what mattered was that they had definitely decided to give this a try.


End file.
